the life and times of absolute saffer

oh just chillin' with...

2008-10-02T13:19:00.002+01:00

So i thought a quick update for all my faithful followers was in order.

I've settled into my new place here in Hove. I live with 2 lovely ladies (soon to be 1 -she's having a sex change) and a little boy of 6. I know what you're thinking but they are not a lesbian couple who adopted a boy and now want to take things to the next level by introducing a penis to their relationship. The sex change is a completely separate matter.

Nah jokes aside, things are going well so far. I've been to an induction week at bimm which was really cool. We got to hang out with people such as; Keane, the chairman of Sony BMG, the president of Island records, as well as some of some very successful musicians who are also our tutors for the year.
I kick off next week officially. I'm really looking forward to getting stuck in now. The last year or so and particularly the last month has painstakingly dragged. I know after everything kicks off next week I'm gonna be saying the opposite. I've heard i said that a year at bimm flies by, so i'll be back with ya'll in n otime.

Brighton's cool, Hove Is cool, church is cool, I'm cool, yo mums alright

yip?

Todays practical solutions to boring problems

2008-03-13T18:16:00.002Z

Its sad really that the only person to view this post is you toby! For a minute there you're heart pulsated thinking that Markyboy has rejoined the underbelly of society and posted something intelectual (and before i give you the oppertunity to use that sentence against me, i will admit to not being able to post anything intelectual and perhaps i will predict a reference to my mom somewhere in your thoughts when thinking of a comment to make on this post).
So Mr Dorkins, when when posting comments like "just got off the phone. With your mom" please remember who's bed your own mom slept in the previous night and who did not call her the next day! If you're not sure who i'm referring to i'll leave you with this clue... I'M YA DADDY!

Yip?

State of the onion

2007-10-28T19:02:00.001Z

I made a chicken today. Lemon chicken with with rosemary and lemon thyme. Next time I must only use half a lemon and remember to not dish up the garlic clove with the chickman. And also not to burn the onion!

I am so damn tired! 2am followed by a 2am followed by an early morning of 6am and then a 3:30am followed by a 1am. No lay ins were permitted during this time.

I realised, well now, that until Jesus comes, there will be no complete relief. That sucks! On the bright side - Jesus is coming back! Take anything you can think of at off the top of your head that bugs you...take a moment to think about it. My example is the not being able to play music all day. Thats where I'm happiest. Now take that issue away (yours may be something smaller or bigger or just trivial). Pretend for a moment that the problem has just ceased to exist or the issue has been resolved. The relief I find always equals the amount of grief the issue has caused you. But don't get too comfortable just yet. Without fail there will come along another thorn in the side not long after the passing of the previous one or it has been removed.

What do we make of these occurrences? I'd be interested to hear the opinions of real life optimists, pessimists and realists on this one. I could only guess as I couldn't place myself in any category (I'm not consistent enough). My opinion would only be a notion.
I would be more interested to hear what a secular world would say. See what keeps me going is the fact that this is all temporary and that one endless day I will be playing music in the very courts of Heaven with flawless skill and endless creativity. What keeps someone without the belief of complete relief and complete satisfaction going? I'm sure they will have very reasonable answers such as the love for their family, career, or hobbies etc. As much as I love my family and respect any other thing that they might answer with, it is not enough for me! I need more than that. I just can't see how anyone would be satisfied with this life. Don't hear me wrong. I'm not putting down the gift of life. It's life in a fallen world I'm not happy with. I'm not sure if that's pessimism or realism?

I spoke to my dad briefly this weekend. I had forgotten how shut off from emotion he is. It actually shocked me. He is completely hardened. I felt like I was talking to an empty box.

The context was, I was talking to my grandmother who didn't sound well in the least. She is the family pessimist, always putting herself down and getting depressed about trivial, senseless issues that don't even concern her and she has intensified them in her head. I was asking her questions about herself which she didn't even answer. She just wanted to get off the phone so not to waist any of my time. I hadn't spoken to her for about a year or so.
I said to pops when he was given back the phone that she didn't sound good. His reply was "Is that right? What do you think?" The tone he used was mocking as if I was poet talking to an army general. It's bugged me the whole weekend.

My point to that story is to bring you to this question. Do people just ignore these issues, pushing them aside for lack of resolution or explanation in the same way that pops has shut himself off to emotion, ignoring blatant issues that require emotion to resolve? I don't have the answer but I think if I didn't have the hope that I do now I might do the same. Ignorance is bliss theory. I love pops.

When issues re-occur or get replaced, what does a person with no hope of ultimate resolution think? I really cannot answer that question.

When I got my new job and the place at bimm, I couldn't even describe the relief it brought to me. It was brilliant! They both happened in quick succession. However, It wasn't long after that I realised I wasn't as close to God. I wasn't trusting Him for anything. It wasn't long before I was feeling very stagnant. There was no pressure on me to push me along. Dostoevsky said "Man is sometimes extraordinarily, passionately, in love with suffering..." There is more to the quote and I think he meant something a little different but I think there is some truth to his theory outside of its context.
Needless to say, the next set of challenges are at my doorstep and they are thankfully bigger than before. Let me explain...
I need life's little curve balls and issues and restraints. They keep me moving. They keep me trusting. They keep me close to God, loving Him with whom the promise of relief, resolution, satisfaction and absolution lies. Every time He takes me through something tough I fall all the more in love with Him. So can you imagine what I will feel when all that has been brought on by our sin ceases to exist, and relief and resolution occur for the last time and satisfaction and absolution are all that is left to experience? That excites me! Yet moves me to great grief when I realise that people we know DO NOT HAVE THE SAME UNDERSTANDING! I cannot leave it at that...Something has to be done.

yip?

Spanks

2007-10-03T10:59:00.000+01:00

This one is gonna be long and deep...
(that sounded sexual)
As you may know, I went for an audition in Brighton the other day. By the grace of God himself I was offered a place. I guess this is just a big thank you to everyone who was praying for me and to everyone who lent a hand in whatever way to help me. I speak deep because all of this has meant an oober amount to me! Sorry for the lack of enthusiasm on the day. I had a cold and it felt like my brain had turned to soft poo.

September has been a good month! First the new job which has given me an unbelievable relief in terms of being able to pay my own way rather than having to beg and borrow and make excuses and all else that goes with having no money (it's humbling as well as humiliating), then the place at Bimm. This is just unbelievable! I'm ecstatic! It's given me something to work towards and a purpose to my being here (which after a while of stagnancy, I must admit to questioning). I can't really explain the feeling of relief this has given me. There's a sense of vindication floating around my head and it feels good.
There is a whole lot more room in my head now. I can think again. That persistent worrying at the back of my head has completely vanished.

It's been the test of a lifetime for me, the last 2 and a half years, moving away from home and trying to fit into a completely new culture to make a new life, following a whisper of God's voice and without the the security of family. I can only hope that the very present doubt, shouting from my rational head, has somehow evaded the all seeing eyes and all hearing ears of God. Doubtful! Even so, He has chosen to bless me and establish me and most amazingly He has remained faithful to me. It blows my mind! His refining fire has enclosed me and left me with no escape (that's a lyrical keeper). I don't suppose the flames will ever cease but perhaps this is a short breather before the next onslaught. You know, the light at the end of the tunnel analogy? I didn't want to use that one because of the high cheese factor...mmm cheese.

The sole purpose of me telling you all this is to give all glory to God for His faithfulness and to thank you all for being such cool friends. You have honestly been the reason I have stayed here when all that doubt crept in. Think of yourselves as my surrogate family.
I also feel like I should thank you for your patience.You guys are wicked bad and I will be thoroughly GUTTED to be leaving this behind during my time in Brighton. I will cry!

So, just a couple more to tick off before I'll be toasting with y'all with a long awaited glass of wine in my hand.

yip

PS. This may very well be the last blag from me. I can't keep up with the real geeks!

#2

2007-09-17T12:27:00.000+01:00

Chip off the old block
Man you're so much like your sister
My fantasize it must be out of luck
My old libido has been blowing a transistor
I feel like I have been hit by a fuck

remember you get sweet jack as a prize...

yip

The latest thang that all the kids are doing

2007-09-14T11:45:00.000+01:00

Everybody gets a little bored sometimes and eventually ends up at my blog, and I know that I don't always have something new to tell you. So I thought of a little game we could play in between the 'real posts.' Its called 'Name the song.' How it works is, I give you a lyric that's been going around my head all the day long and the first dude/dudette to name the song and band gets the prestigious title of sweet bugger all! I warn you - they won't be easy.
Here we go, here's the first one:

Well I'm not a martyr
I'm not a prophet
And I wont preach to you
But here's a caution
You better understand
That I wont hold your hand
But if it helps you mend
Then I wont stop it

stay tuned for the answer

yip

Pavarotti

2007-09-07T12:29:00.000+01:00

3 consecutive days off...woo! Although it does get a bit boring. But I've used the time wisely. I been working my arse off for this bimm audition, mainly out of fear I think. I'm actually quite scared.It's for the better though.I'm so friekin' motivated. I have almost finished a song. Just need a chorus really. Then the test is to see what it sounds like with a band. Sounds a little empty on its own. I think I'm getting better at this songwriting stuff. woop!
Music you see is like rugby - if you run very fast into a rugby post, it's gonna hurt, regardless of if you're a rugby player or a musician. You will knock yourself out and possibly die.
If you can figure this little riddle out, you will have found the key to my deep and torturous mind. (don't try too hard)

yup

a job in hand is worth 2 in london...

2007-09-05T14:03:00.000+01:00

So the dilemma materializes. Aaarrrgh! How frustrating! I haven't heard from the other company yet about the two positions that are going, but have just had a call from virgin offering me a full time position. They would like an answer by today.
I know I'm probably just creating a problem where there is none, but now that I've heard of other better possibilities... I want them. If I didn't know about the other jobs I would snatch this virgin job with both hands, my mouth and my right foot. Which is what I'm going to do anyway. There is no way around this. I'm just going to ignore them other 2 jobs. There's no problem here.

So let me know if there are any albums you want cheap, with a little percentage for me of course. Always got my business hat on I'm afraid.

yip

Virgin

2007-09-04T17:58:00.000+01:00

Did the title catch your eye? Now you may think that this post is all about my virginity, or lack of. I'm not going to give you my status. I prefer to keep people guessing. Obviously that is what you do with your day's time, so I thought I would give you something to ponder. It adds an element of mystery to my profile. It darkens my horse, so to speak.
Actually I had an interview at Virgin Megastore today. I just got a little carried away with the virgin thing. It went as well as I think it could have gone, and should know by the end of the week if the job is mine.
I would like to submit to you (my faithful readers) a quandary. Today I had a call from an agency about two other better paying jobs which I may be interviewed for. Now, If they offer me a position at Virgin, they would want me to start the following Monday. At this stage I may not have been interviewed for the other jobs yet. Here's the quandary... Do I take the job at Virgin or do I risk it by holding it off as long as I need to, to see what comes from the other jobs?
Share with me your wisdom pearls.
I know that I'll get at least one stupid answer and it will come from none other than Toby himself. (He waits for my latest post)

yip

Bimm...

2007-09-03T10:53:00.000+01:00

I have got roughly a month before my Bimm audition. This is scary news. The last time I had a bimm audition I didn't get in. Understandably so because I wasn't up to the standard. I'm not going to let that happen this time round. I have already been whipping myself into shape, but from today there is no more playing around. I was too gutted last time round and can't face the disappointment of not getting in again.
I am auditioning for a diploma in songwriting which is exactly what I want to do. So from today until the audition I will be practicing at the very least and hour a day (which is nothing compared to what I'll have to do when I'm there).
I may be a bit hard on myself and be accused of being a perfectionist because of things like this, but I really believe that you have to work hard for the things you want. The things that you want tend to be out of your reach anyway, which means you have to work a little harder for it. I've known too many people who haven't risen to that challenge and let me tell you, it's not a pretty sight. They are not happy people.
I could probably right an essay on this sort of thing but I think I'll spare you on this occasion.

Wish me luck

yip

Prada girl

2007-09-02T18:14:00.002+01:00

Today was pub and park day. Me, Dave, Sarah and Prada girl (Louisa) went to the lion in farningham. It was very pleasant other than the real prada girl in the que at the pub. She was a stereotypical WAG/glam model wannbe, orange with fake tan, with the accent and the lack of brain cells to match. She managed to piss the bar lady and kept the entire que waiting for a good ten minutes while she figured out her table number.

We then found an old fasioned picturesque sweety shop. David chatted up the old lady and managed to score himself a few more sweets. And I'm not talking about the ones you eat. We then found a nice river and Prada girl briefed us on her hair growth theory. All in all, a day well spent. Looking forward to a bonfire later.

Watch Louisa's Theory

2007-09-02T17:57:00.000+01:00

So last night I went down stairs to get a glass of water before I retire for the evening. I saw the front door open and feared the worst. Upon cautious investigation, I caught Dave puffing a cheeky cigar with a cup of ground coffee. I guess we all have our routines. I'm just happy that mine is a little healthier than a cigar and coffee.

Stitched up...

2007-09-01T17:58:00.000+01:00

Last week I was offered some work at tree jumpers for today. Now usually I would have to be really desperate to say yes to working on a Saturday. But what sold it to me and made me jump at the opportunity was the belief that I was instructing a group of 18-21 year old Swedish girls. Now as far as girls go, I will admit that there is not a heck of a lot that I can say I know, but what I do know is that Scandinavia can heat the entire country with the hotness of their woman. (They don't even have a sun)
So lads, feel my disappointment when after eagerly awaiting the arrival of these legendary goddesses, about forty 12 year old kids make their way off the coach. Guys as well as girls. It made me feel dirty inside. I did not get up early this morning to do my hair for 12 year old Swedish kids.
Its just not right!

yip

2007-08-31T18:32:00.000+01:00

The submission...

2007-08-31T10:35:00.001+01:00

So begins the adventures of the saffer...
I don't know how long I can keep up the geek act of blagging for, but after the events of yesterday I thought i'd give it a try. Toby being the geek of influence, though mainly to spite him. I joked about writing about yesterday's near disastrophe that he caused by making us nearly missing the sunrise that we got up so early for. You can read on his blag www.tobiwan.co.uk. He found security in the fact that I didn't have a blag. So I made one. A carp one I admit.

Today be a day of domestic engineering. There's nothing worth while elaborating on. I'm just cleaning. Though I may post some before and after pics later. Faithful readers, stay tuned!

yip